01
The portal lie
Portals exist to manufacture distance. Your "ticket" gets prioritized against 200 other clients. By design, you wait.
Problems
Marketing agency won't return your calls?
You're not alone. The "portal + ticket + account-manager" model is designed to absorb your frustration. Here's why it happens and what good communication actually looks like.
02
The account-manager firewall
AMs are revenue-protection. They're not allowed to give you bad news. So you get vague reassurances until you cancel.
03
The Heist model
No portal. No AM. Craig is your direct contact. Text, email, phone — same number, same person, same day. By choice.
What good looks like
- Same-day response on emails + texts.
- Monthly meetings on a calendar, not "we'll send a Loom."
- One human you can name. Phone, text, email all go to them.
- Honest answers including "we don't know yet" and "that didn't work."
The trade-off
This model only works at small-shop scale. Once an agency is over 30 clients per partner, the math breaks and ticket systems become inevitable. We deliberately stay small enough that Craig can be every client's direct contact. Not for everyone.
The Heist Way
Ready to plant your flag?
15-minute call. No pitch deck. No pressure.